Love Sees Us Through

by Melissa Bagge

A little over a year ago, my good friend of 13 years, Christian Bagge, got word that he would be deploying to Iraq. At the time, I was living on my own in Idaho and working as a microbiologist. I drove the five hours to Oregon to see him one last time before he was to leave for Fort Bliss, Texas. I was so sad to see him go, and felt connected to him in so many ways, as I always had. We had been friends for so long—we had gone to dances in high school together, had gone fishing at the lake, and had been walking partners during graduation. We had written letters back and forth throughout college while he was away at boot camp, and I had sent him little care packages. I loved him dearly; he had always been such a special friend to me.

This time last year, I received a special letter from him, asking if I would join him on a trip to Washington, DC in November before he went to Iraq. I remember jumping up and down when I read those words! I was ecstatic! I gladly accepted and before long I was on a plane to see my friend again. November 5-11, 2004, I fell deeply in love with my now husband—he simply swept me off my feet. We had been such tender friends for so long, and all I had needed to see was his romantic side! I was hooked!

From November to March, we talked of marriage. We prayed and talked with our parents, trying to determine whether we should wait or not. Despite what everyone said, and after months of prayer, we knew in our hearts that we should get married. We were so excited—wanting to get married as soon as possible, maybe even on his two-week leave. Against parents’ wishes, we eloped in Las Vegas on March 9th, spent two wonderful weeks together, and then he departed. I sent him back to Iraq not knowing what lay ahead.

On June 3rd, just shy of our three-month anniversary, I got word that something was wrong: Christian had been injured! Two broken legs and an amputated toe. I grew weak in the knees at the thought of him in pain, lying alone in the dirt. I was devastated. New to the Army family, I had no idea what to do. How would I get to him? Where was he? How did all this happen? An hour later, I received an update. Update? I thought I knew the extent of his injuries. This time, I was informed that his right leg had been amputated through the knee. At this point, I gave the phone to my father and collapsed on the street. His left leg had been amputated about mid-calf and his left arm had been severely lacerated.

The next several hours are somewhat of a blur, but I do remember the phone call I received from Christian while he was in Germany. Scared, gasping, and crying, he pleaded with me to come. “Did they tell you?!” he cried. He wondered if I’d still love him. I decided then that I would not wait for Army orders—I would meet him in Washington, DC where we had recently promised each other we would some day return. Neither of us believed we would return under these circumstances. My father and I left early Sunday morning on June 5th. I remember being very scared on the plane, scanning my Bible and other books for encouraging words to give to Christian when I saw him. I prayed constantly and earnestly, knowing Jesus was right there next to me the entire time.

We arrived at Walter Reed before Christian did, and after what seemed like an eternity, he arrived and I was able to see him. He was swollen and dirty, but wore a huge smile when I walked into the room. There in that ICU, I kissed him gently and held him tight. I thanked Jesus that he had not been burned and that I could simply look into his beautiful eyes and touch his face. I fell in love with this beautiful man all over again.

Soon Christian told his story—his Humvee had been hit by one of two IEDs planted in the road. I learned that he had not had painkillers of any kind for 90 minutes, and that he had prayed aloud while he lay in the dirt. He had made things right with Jesus and was prepared to die. He had cried and suffered the immense pain of legs that had been severely mangled, and had asked the Lord to take care of me as he readied himself for death.

Since the ambush, Christian has had nine surgeries and will have another one this month for bone growth. He goes through very painful physical therapy twice a day where he takes tender steps on his prosthetic legs, learning to walk again. We were able to have our first dance as a married couple the other day in the physical therapy room. I helped him stand a little, and he held on for dear life, but we danced! To just hug my dear husband as he is standing is a blessing from the Lord. It truly is!

I believe there is one reason we have survived such great heartache: Jesus Christ. Jesus has been our stronghold these last three months. We have had such hard days… such tremendously hard days. There isn’t a day that goes by where I am not praying; praying for Jesus to give me comforting words for my husband, or for his pain to subside. He is frustrated—frustrated at being in a wheelchair, frustrated at the setbacks. I am frustrated as well. I struggle with finding the right words for him, and I ache when he tells me of his pain, or when I find him crying in bed, learning that he’s fallen, or that he’s discovered he can no longer tap his toes.

Although Christian and I do not know what God’s plan is for our lives or why this was allowed to happen to him, we do know that God loves us very much and that He is in control. “God can restore vision where it has been lost. He can give hope to dreams again. He can bring His truth to bear upon the lies of discouragement. He can give assurance of a promising future.” (The Power of a Praying Wife) We are so grateful that Christian’s life was spared… that he was not burned or paralyzed or blinded by the ambush. His injuries are truly terrible, but they could have been much worse.

As I type, Christian sits in his wheelchair just five feet away playing a little video game, and swinging his left leg back and forth. I love times like this where I can just peek in on him and he doesn’t know it. I am so proud of him! My heart swells with love for this remarkable young man! He is truly amazing, and I know Jesus has amazing plans for his life. I admire his attitude and strength so much, and I love him for the person he is allowing this tragedy to make him.

I can say today that I feel so extremely blessed. Jesus has blessed me with a wonderful and God-fearing husband and friend. I am allowed to put my arms around him and to hold his hand. I am able to pray with him and talk with him daily. I can sit next to him in church! Jesus has also taught us what it means to truly love someone: “Love means giving up—yielding preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else; Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment.” (The Purpose Driven Life) “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8) Despite what has happened, God is good to us, and our faith remains strong! He loves us more than we love ourselves, as my mother-in-law would say, and she is right! No matter what happens, we must take comfort and refuge in the Lord, for He is always with us, and He will never leave nor forsake us!